Before I start the post: Thank you for all the kind comments on my last blog post, girls! Would you like it if I did another post with me wearing an outfit?
Now for the main part of the post. I think this will be funniest for people who have an inkling for writing.
I was literally laughing my head off. And trust me, I never laugh out loud when I'm reading.
These are some similes that you must never use when writing....
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup."
"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t."
"She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs."
"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."
"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
"It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."
If you did not find those funny ... then ... I don't know. Something is obviously wrong.
Does anyone here have any special plans for New Years or Christmas?
Bye for now!!!!
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